This has nothing to do with running. I think. Just a short story.

The beautiful couple moved in together. They had spent the last few months lost in one another’s deep blue and even deeper green eyes and they had decided nothing could be better than a lifetime spent swimming through colors so vivid it made Monet’s water lilies look like bath scum drawn with crayola. And so, with the decision based on merit and logic, the beautiful couple moved in together.


The logicians discovered a blank apartment. Virgin walls and unadulterated space would be decorated as the beautiful couple saw fit. It would wait though. For three full days as the beautiful couple became, once again, lost in each other. The couple became suspended in time, as did the apartment, but outside their walls there were changes. Wind blew from the west the first day, it blew from the east the second day, and on the third did it was calm. Rain poured the first day. Sun shined the third. All the while, the couple fell deeper and deeper into one another’s adoring pause. On the second day, a business man walked by the apartment building and told his colleague he used to live there, “on the fourth floor, as a matter of fact.” The third day was garbage day.


And it was on the third day, after the garbage had been taken, when the beautiful man blinked and the beautiful woman managed to see a cat slinking on the neighboring apartment building’s gutter. The gaze was broken, and time for the beautiful couple could continue. As their stupor wore off, they realized the need for a furnished apartment. The beautiful couple drove to IKEA.


In IKEA the beautiful couple used their beautiful fingers to point to beautiful things, which, in turn, lit up their beautiful eyes. The possibilities for their life together came alive in the store. As life would have it, they would later, individually, respond to the question of: what is your favorite place on earth? With “IKEA.” Although, they would obviously never know this to be true because they had never asked one another the question due to the frequency they would get stuck in various locations for days on end after catching a glimpse of one another either directly or via a mirror or some other reflecting agent and become fucking mutes. Anyways, the beautiful couple bought a lot of shit at IKEA.


Back at the apartment, the beautiful couple constructed their items. Using the perfect little tools, the perfect little nuts and bolts, and their perfect hands they spent an entire day building their lives together. Now, as the reader may have noticed, there has been no mention to the beautiful couple eating food. It is simply because they do not excrete waste, therefore they do not eat. They are truly beautiful in that sense. Once their Hasselvika bed was built, they had beautiful sex on it. Once their Nutid oven was installed, they baked a beautiful pie to stare at. Once their Norsberg loveseat was finished, they laid beautifully like sun at dawn. The beautiful couple was at ease.


One day, months later, the beautiful woman noticed what appeared to be an angry, red pimple on the beautiful man’s beautiful jaw line. This could not be; he was a flawless creation. Whatever was the case, the beautiful woman became annoyed with the beautiful man’s pimple and set out to be a slight bitch until the pimple disappeared. Days later, the beautiful man caught glimpse of a few unwarranted, wispy hairs on the woman’s upper lip. How could this be, he inquired within. This woman was sculpted from porcelain to be as smooth as a river’s oldest stone. Whatever the case, the beautiful man avoided contact with the woman and acted like a dick until the hairs seemed to vanish.


This cyclical flaw finding happened again and again, taking a toll on their once beautiful relationship. Their beautiful things began to wear, their beautiful baked pies no longer smelled as robust, and they both really needed to shit. Held it in as they may, their beautiful relationship began to burst at the seams. Both beautiful people began to look outside of the apartment to see beauty. The slinking neighbor cat enamored the woman, the fallen leaves after a rain shower made the man smile. The beautiful couple wanted out.


What was once impossibility became reality as the man opened the apartment door, not for her, but for him, and walked out to the wet sidewalk riddled with orange and red leaves. The woman followed on her own accord and made her way around the block looking for the playful, and apparently skittish, cat. Each became lost in the abundance of this new world.


The beautiful couple passed each other on the sidewalk for days, months, and years after this strange episode. Not a glance was shared between the two beautiful people. They were, after all, still beautiful, but they were no longer fascinated by the other. No valley of hate formed between them; no mountain of resentment was forged. And the beautiful couple became beautiful persons.

Stephen Kersh